Bad Habits
by May
Summary: Jayne likes playing his guitar naked. River has a way of popping up when she really shouldn’t.


Title: Bad Habits  
**Author: **walkwithheroes  
**Email:** **Summary: **Jayne likes playing his guitar naked. River has a way of popping up when she really shouldn't.

Bad Habitswalkwithheroes Jayne likes playing his guitar naked. River has a way of popping up when she really shouldn't. 

**Rating:** R (to be safe)  
**Characters: **Jayne and River. Brief appearance by Mal. Others are heard.  
**Pairing:** Mentions of Jayne having adult dreams about Zoe, Kaylee, and Inara. Jayne/River. Mentions of Kaylee/Simon. Slight River/Simon and River/Mal if you look **really** **really **hard.  
**Warning:** This one has slightly adult language and talk of 'adult' dreams and situations. Written because of an idea someone else had. Honestly, I have no idea what this is, really.  
**Spoilers/Timeline: **Takes place after 'Serenity', may have some spoilers.

**Sequel To:** -----  
**Series:** -----

Disclaimer: I don't own them, I never did. And the idea was not mine. M put up a challenge at _Copper for a Kiss_, she wanted a story with Jayne playing the guitar naked, River finding him, and fun following.  
**Author's Note:** It's my first R piece. Just putting it out there. The idea of Jayne naming his weapons after girls he's slept with or people he used to know is nothing new. I've seen it in fics and I liked the idea. This was supposed to be a ficlet, maybe 1000 words….it's more.

I don't own them, I never did. And the idea was not mine. M put up a challenge at , she wanted a story with Jayne playing the guitar naked, River finding him, and fun following. It's my first R piece. Just putting it out there. The idea of Jayne naming his weapons after girls he's slept with or people he used to know is nothing new. I've seen it in fics and I liked the idea. This was supposed to be a ficlet, maybe 1000 words….it's more. 

Jayne Cobb had many interesting-or rather odd-habits. He sniffed everything before he ate or drank it, he always had to be holding something, he ate apples off of large knives, and he liked to play his guitar naked. He didn't do it around the ship or anything-Mal had a rules about being nekkid-but Jayne did play a little naked guitar when he was alone in his bunk. He locked the door, of course. Jayne didn't want anyone seeing his man parts unless there was fun to be had.

Not that he didn't think about having sex with the female crew members. Because he did-a lot. It was natural, though. A man like him had needs and urges and the like. A man like him liked pretty, tough, sweet things he couldn't have.

Pretty was Inara. Hell, the woman was striking. All regal and fancy. She had a way of making a man's other head stand up and notice. Hell, there had been times when Inara had just looked Jayne's way and the mercenary had had to rush to his bunk for some alone time.

Tough was Zoe. Woman was a warrior and Jayne sometimes thought that if Zoe really wanted to, she could kill him with just one touch. It was her legs that had made Wash first really notice Zoe and it was Zoe's legs that Jayne most thought about, they were just so damn long and strong.

Sweet was Kaylee. All sweet and so cheerful about everything. Kaylee had a way of making people's hearts warm. It didn't hurt that she was damn cute and that-according to the moans and breathless 'Kaylee's.' that came from Kaylee's bunk at night-the girl could really sex a person.

Then there was the crazy little assassin person. Also known as River. Jayne didn't like to think about the fact that after she had killed all them Reavers, he had had a sex dream or fifty about her.

Of course, none of that mattered at the moment. Nothing mattered when Jayne played naked guitar.

"River!"

Jayne glanced up. Damn crazy girl was causing trouble, again. He could hear the sounds of heavy combat boots running around above him. It was after dinner, why were they all acting up?

"River! Come back here, right now!" Listening a little closer, Jayne noticed that it was Kaylee who was yelling, though it kind of sounded like she was giggling too.

Jayne made a note: Kaylee giggled, even when she was slightly annoyed. Jayne briefly found himself wondering if Kaylee would giggle if he asked her to get down on her knees for him.

"What in the hell?" That was Mal. "Somebody….now that ain't right."

"She….ow, she bit me! She bit my lip." That was the doc. "River, that's very bad."

From his place on his bunk, Jayne snorted. You tell her, doc.

"I think she's headin' toward the cargo bay." That was Zoe, calm as ever.

Jayne made a mental note to add that to the reasons why he'd have sex with Zoe.

"River, this is not funny anymore. And I'm sure you want nothing to do with that, sweetheart." Mal again.

"You're scaring her." Inara, such an earth-mother.

Jayne bet a month's pay that Inara would hold him after sex; he thought he might like that. She could hold him or maybe make him a sandwich while naked, of course.

"River, sweetie, just…River….that's…ow! She kicked me!" Inara again, and not sounding to happy.

Jayne held back a laugh. Whatever little River was doing, it was certainly worrying everybody. And the little girl was truly giving them a run for their money. Jayne found himself chuckling at the mental images of River running around Serenity, biting and kicking and cursing at anyone that came near her.

"There…River." Mal again. "Sweetheart, just…that's a good girl-Zoe, grab her!"

There was a bit of noise, like people having a small tussle and then silence. Jayne started to relax and was about to go back to his guitar when…

Bam!

That sounded an awful lot like Jayne's hatch being kicked up from above. Great, now he was going to have to help. The merc got up off his bunk and placed his guitar gently on his bed. He was about to find a pair of pants when he noticed the dark haired waif of a girl that was currently climbing down his ladder.

Quickly, Jayne grabbed a sheet and wrapped it around his waist. "Girl! What in the hell are you doin'? How'd you even….I locked it!"

River gave him a look, a look that said 'Oh, it's you.'. "Shush." She whispered. For good measure, she put a finger to her lip. "Quiet."

Jayne watched as River stared above. She seemed to be wordlessly counting to herself. And while every part of Jayne told him to shove her back up the ladder, he stayed where he stood, just watching. What was she playing at and what did she have on her that made the crew so damn nervous?

"This." River had turned around and was now holding up a piece of machinery for him to see. "This isn't righteous, but it pretends to be."

"What…?"

River rolled her large eyes upward. Really, try getting a descent conversation out of an ape and see what you get. "It's harmful. Keeps secrets." She told Jayne simply. She cocked her head to one side and then added, "You're nearly naked." It was stated as a fact and oddly enough, River didn't seem at all embarrassed or nervous about that.

"Yeah." Jayne quickly turned away and started searching for his cargo pants. "I was just, uh…"

"Pleasuring yourself?" River guessed. Her tone was so innocent, it made Jayne just feel dirty. "You do that sometimes. You think of women and you hold yourself and then-"

"Hey!" The big man whirled around to face the little girl. He was slowly turning red. "Don't talk l'ke that." He waited a beat. "An' stay outta my head, little crazy person."

River made a child-like face and stuck her tongue out at time. "You're the one thinking those things. 'Does Kaylee spit or shallow?' She shallows for Simon. 'Would Zoe always be on top?' No, only sometimes. 'Would Inara kiss your legs and stomach?' Yes, if asked Inara does that for her clients. 'Would I-'"

Now Jayne was blushing a deep red. "Hey! I said stop that!" He grabbed a pair of cargo pants and then remembered that he was naked under the sheet. "Git!" River stayed standing by the ladder, just staring at him. "Girl, git! Go on, shoo."

"Shush!" River gave him a glare, as if she was telling him that he truly was annoying. "You're much too loud tonight. Usually quiet and now you're faster then a storm." Her eyes trailed down to the sheet that was around his waist. It really was a very thin sheet.

"You…you like it when women put their mouths around your man parts?" It was more of an innocent question then anything else. River sounded more like she was asking Jayne if he wanted butter on his toast then if he liked women to give him oral sex.

"Girl, I said stop that. You're a gorram, freak." Jayne growled. "Go bug your brother or Kaylee or Mal f'r a while."

River didn't seem to hear him. She was now staring at his sheet. The girl seemed utterly fascinated with Jayne's other head, which was currently behind the sheet. But the way she was looking at the sheet, it made Jayne nervous, like she seeing through the damn thing. "You said you'd show me." She whispered. "Jayne's not a girl."

"That's a bad habit, you got." Jayne really wanted River gone. " 'Membering everything the way you do." He tugged on his sheet and tried to make it not seem so lose. "Now, git. Go give 'em back what you stole."

"Didn't steal it." She was muttering and it sounded like she was talking more to herself then to him. "Can't steal it. Just took it." She gave him a pointed look. "You don't even know what it is."

Was that a challenging look? Was she calling him stupid?

"Listen…would you at least turn around so I could put some pants on?" River shrugged and turned away from him. Breathing a sigh of relief, Jayne took the sheet off and quickly put his pants on. The last thing he needed was for little crazy to see him naked and run off telling the whole ship that Jayne had shown her his man parts. Mal'd toss him out the air lock before River could spout some more nonsense. "You can turn around now, girl."

River did as she was told. "You're half way clothed now." She stated. "You're very hairy, like an ape." The girl let out a giggle. "Simon's man ape gone wrong."

Now Jayne was just getting annoyed. Why was she teasing him? Why couldn't she have found another hiding place?

"Because." River answered.

Jayne could have cursed. "Thought I told you to stop reading my mind?"

"I can't help it." River clarified. "You're thinking loudly tonight. All confused and angry. Wish I'd disappear." She gave him a smile full of mischief. "You want to play your guitar naked, again." She dropped the machine part she had stolen onto his floor and it landed with a loud thud. "I just have to hide for a while longer. I'll leave and you can-" She suddenly trailed off and gave Jayne a hard look. "Sexual intercourse while playing with Reaver weapons is dangerous."

"What did I just tell you? Stay outta my head. It's no place for you."

"That's because it's all dirty and full of sex."

"Hey! I t'ink other stuff, too." That was it, River really **was** teasing him. And she was enjoying it. Oo, tease the ape-man gone wrong. Make him blush and sweat it out. "L'ke, 'bout weapons and my mother and food and…women." He gave her a look. "And ways to get you and your prissy brother off the boat."

River shook her head sadly at Jayne. He really was an awful liar. "Not anymore. Haven't thought about since forever ago. Since the Maidenhead. Pleasure, pain. It's a fine line that we all walk." She gave him a sweet smile.

Gorrammit, if she didn't have a point. He hadn't really thought about her gone since the tussle. Hell, she had aroused him. The tussle had led to the first of fifty sexual dreams about River Tam. Most of which started with the two fighting and ended with he and River screaming and panting one another's names. They'd claw at one another and bite and….

River was making a disgusted face. "You need a feather duster for your brain." She told Jayne with a wrinkle of her nose. "What would your mother say?"

"She'd say I shouldn't have a girl your age in my bunk." Jayne sighed. He really wanted her gone, like five minutes ago. "Git, now. Git or I'll tell Mal where you are." That ought to do it. She'd leave now. Right?

Wrong.

River didn't go back up the ladder. Instead she moved deeper into Jayne's bunk. Seemly ignoring him, River went straight to his bed and ran her long and pale fingers over his old wooden guitar. Jayne thought he heard River mutter: 'Shiny.', but he couldn't be sure.

"Simon plays the piano." The girl stated quietly. "He'd play and I'd dance for him. Holidays, we'd show the guests how wonderful we were. How well Daddy and Mommy had taught us." She shook her head sadly. "Not true. All lies wrapped up in shiny paper."

"Sorry." Inwardly, Jayne wished he was a bit better at the whole comfort thing. If he were nice, made River feel better about her parents using her and the doc to show off, then maybe she'd leave.

River looked up at Jayne through her long veil of hair. She offered him another sweet smile; Jayne moved away from her. "It was just a bad habit." She told him. "Show what the children do. They're doing _so _well." She looked mildly angry for a moment. "Rank."

"Uh, sure." He felt increasingly awkward and silently prayed for someone to find River. What in the hell were they all doing up there? Having a gorram tea party?

The crazy girl sat down on his bed and gently placed the guitar in her tiny lap, almost like the thing was a baby. "Did you name it? Like the guns?"

"No." He gave her a look and spoke it a condensing tone. "You jus' name weapons, little crazy girl."

River thought about that for a moment. "You should name your guitar." She told Jayne after a beat. "Things should have names."

"Mayhap." He looked down at his old guitar, thankful the conversation had turned away from sexual things. "Listen, you're gonna get gone, now. They ain't lookin' f'r you no more."

"No."

"No…what?"

"No, they aren't looking for me anymore." River clarified for Jayne. "What I took, it….it can be forgotten." She gave him a pointed look. "You don't forget, though. You remember your women, name weapons after the best ones." A beat. "You should name your guitar after a girl you _really_ liked."

"Maybe." He sat down in the only chair in his bunk. River was staying and there was nothing to be done about it. She'd get bored in a bit and wonder off. Or Simon or Mal or Kaylee would find her and Jayne would have to explain why he wasn't wearing a shirt and why River was sitting on his bed like it was hers. "You name yer stuff?"

River gave him a look Jayne had seen her give Simon many times. "It's stupid to name what I have. Pens, pencils, paper….not objects to be named." She glanced down lovingly at the wooden guitar. "Simon used to call the piano 'Rion', after us. He wasn't very good at naming. Bad imagination. I had to come up with the plays and games."

Jayne had to chuckle at that. Any jab at the doctor was a good one by Jayne's way of thinking. He relaxed a bit in his chair and closed his eyes. The room felt cool and the sound of River running her hands over the strings of his guitar was oddly soothing. Jayne's mind wondered off into day dream land. He thought about what it would be like to have River kiss his stomach and neck. To have River on her knees in front of him…

Suddenly the noise of River strumming his guitar stopped. Maybe she was finally leaving. Jayne relaxed even more. A beat. And suddenly someone was straddling his lap! Jayne's eyes popped up to see that River was straddling him, her head on his chest and her hands at his sides.

"Wha-God, git off!"

"I'm very comfortable, thank you." River muttered against his bare chest.

The feel of her lips on him made Jayne uncomfortable and yet aroused at the same time. Her dark hair slightly tickled him and her fingers played with the cargo pants. Great, just great. He'd be out of the air lock by morning.

"River." Jayne's voice had somehow gotten awfully low. "Don' do this. Git off, now."

Her response was butterfly kisses on his chest, on his scars. She moved the kisses to the scar that she, herself, had give him not so very long ago. To Jayne it seemed that River was simply following a pattern. Just kissing skin to kiss it. Maybe she didn't even know she was kissing him.

"River. It's me, girl." Jayne tried again. Damn, if he wasn't….Jayne tried to move around in the chair. River Tam was not about to turn him on. No, sir. "You don' even l'ke me."

"You think too loud, Jayne." She moved her mouth to the side of his and gently kissed him.  
"You want to know 'What it would be like to have River kiss me?'" She purred softly in his ear. "Silly Jayne, you should name your guitar after a girl you _really_ like."

Jayne felt his body go limp, if he just let her…she'd….where did she learn to do that? His body was betraying his brain. Girl felt good against him. All soft and smellin' like fruits and paint and a bit like grease and a hospital. Jayne felt a moan escape his lips.

River's lips had kissed his neck, chest, his scars, and the corner of his mouth. She was slowly moving her lips over the whole upper part of his body. Her hands holding tight to the chair. Whenever he'd make a nervous noise, River would repeat her request: "You should name your guitar after a girl you _really_ like."

"River." It sounded more like a moan then he had wanted it to. "River, jus' 'cause I'm t'inkin', it…."

"Shush." The girl stopped kissing him. She looked up and stared deeply into his eyes. "You'll never be free. Bad habits, all your thoughts. Mean and dirty and sad and lonely." She gave him a very serious look. "I'm not having sexual intercourse with you."

"Then what the hell are you doin'?" Jayne knew he sounded way more angry then he should have been. But, well, she was getting him all hot and bothered. His stomach was getting hot inside and he felt a certain body part becoming slightly less limp.

Really, Jayne just didn't get it, did he? "Shush. Solace." River brushed a hand over Jayne's cheek. "You're a cat. No one loved the cat, left it alone and the rest went to a fest. Cat left to play it's nameless guitar, naked." She added the last word with a cheeky grin. "Shush, they shouldn't hear you."

"I have no idea what yer doin', bu'…" He was cut off my River's soft lips on his. Jayne never kissed women on the mouth, but he didn't stop River from kissing him on the mouth. Her lips were all soft and she didn't try anything funny. Her kisses were soft and sweet, with just a hint of passion. The way she kissed him, it made Jayne rethink his whole 'no kissing on the mouth' rule.

He began to kiss her back and….

And without warning, River stopped kissing him. She gracefully got off Jayne's lap and walked back over to the bed. For a minute, all Jayne could do was blink. What in the seven hells had just happened? One minute River had been telling him he had a dirty mind. The next she had been telling him to name his guitar. And the next she was kissing him. Then, just when he was getting into it, she had stopped. Leaving him all sorts of uncomfortable and wishing she were gone so he could tend to some business with a little help from his girly pictures.

"You really are crazy." He spat out, more annoyed that the fun had stopped then anything else. "Didn' anybody ever tell you that you don' kiss a man l'ke that and then jus' stop?"

River gave him a look before picking up his guitar. "What's it's name?" She asked him, somewhat impatiently. For her part, River didn't even seem to remember what she had just been doing to Jayne.

"Gorrammit, girl! It ain't got no name." Jayne ran a hand through his hair. "I done told you that."

River pouted. "You're a lair. No good can come of this." River looked annoyed at Jayne. As if she were asking him the simplest question in the 'verse and he was getting it wrong. Big stupid ape-man gone wrong, indeed.

Jayne just knew his mouth was hanging open. _'No good can come of this.'? _Now he knew River was teasing and playing him. Mal, Simon, and Zoe were most likely waiting just outside his door. Simon would poison him, Zoe would shoot him, and Mal would drag him down to the air lock. Kaylee and 'Nara would be there waiting. 'Nara, in the absence of Shepard Book, would give the famous 'special hell' speech. Then, little Kaylee would open the air lock and Mal would toss him out.

"Will not happen." River's little girl voice spoke up from the bed. "They wouldn't harm you, you know. Bad habit, always thinking the worse will happen. Good happens, too." She gave him a little look. "For a simple man, you over think everything. Like Simon in that way."

Jayne made a noise. He did not like being compared to Dr. Simon Tam. 'Specially by River. That just made what they had just been doing all kinds of wrong; and not just 'cause of the age difference and the fact that she was crazy.

"I don' know what in the seven hells yer playin' at, little girl, but you best stop it." Jayne warned. He stood up from his chair, and was glad when he found he could still stand up straight. "You jus' take whatever it is you took and git."

"Git, git, git." River mimicked his accent in a mocking tone. "You're a broken record." She put the guitar back on her lap and began strumming it again. "Another bad habit." She made a 'tsk, tsk, tsk' sound. "Git, git, git, little girl. Big bad wolf will blow you away." River let out a tiny giggle.

Jayne tried to ignore her as he walked over to the thing that she had stolen. The thing that had gotten the crew so upset, at least until she had disappeared from their sights. Picking the smooth, metal, object up, Jayne was reminded of something that he couldn't really recall. "What do you suppose this is?" The question was out before Jayne knew it.

River looked up from strumming the guitar. "Told you." Jayne glanced back at her. "You don't know what it is." She shrugged lightly. "Doesn't matter, won't be missed. Just scared I'll throw it at their heads. Crack the skull and show what's inside." She gave Jayne a rather creepy grin and he turned back to the thing.

"Looks l'ke part of the ship." He turned back to look at her, worry creeping into his eyes. "We ain't gonna 'plode, are we?" River gave him her classic 'you are so dumb' look. "No, guess there'd be panic if we was."

Growing slightly bored, River explained. "It's for the ship's lock system. It makes it so we can lock the doors and keep the secrets in or unlock the doors so we can let the monsters out. I took it to let the monsters and secrets out."

"Oh."

The room was silent for three whole minutes after that. Jayne put the piece of Serenity back down on his floor. The lock system not working didn't bother him none. 'Specially since they were floating at the corner of no and where. He'd send River back up in a minute and tell her to give it back to Kaylee, so the mechanic could fix it.

"Jayne?" The merc nearly jumped. He'd nearly forgotten River was with him. Turning around, he saw that River had placed the guitar on the ground and that she was now laying on his bed, all spread out, like a cat.

She looked awfully nice laying there. Made Jayne's pants kind of tight. Tah mah duh hwoon dahn. The girl really was trying to get him tossed off the boat.

"Kaylee's with Simon and she has no time for fixing things." River went on. She didn't seem to notice that Jayne was trying very hard not to look at her. "I'll give it back, later."

"Don't….git off my bed." Jayne paused. Why was his voice so damn low and why did he suddenly have the desire to crawl onto that bed and take off River's dress? River ignored Jayne. "River." His voice was still low, but it was firm now. He was done playing games. "I ain't playin' with you."

"Not yet." River muttered sleepily. "Soon."

"No, not soon. I'd be yu bun duh to do anything with you." Jayne shot back. River stuck her tongue out at him. Jayne made an angry face. "Stop that, ya gorram freak."

Again, the room grew silent. River was laying on the bed all peaceful-like, she was nearly asleep. Jayne decided that might be for the best. He'd just go upstairs and get Mal. Jayne would explain that the girl had come down and gone straight to sleep on his bed. She hadn't kissed him or nothing. Yeah, that was good. Jayne took a chance and moved closer to the bed, just to be sure that the girl really was asleep.

River's eyes were closed and she really did look like an angel, sleeping all comfortably on his bed. It sort of made Jayne wish he'd let more girls sleep in his bed, a woman made it look awfully inviting. Or maybe it was just the way River was on his bed…looking so pretty.

Kaylee always called River 'a beauty'. Jayne had never really noticed how River looked, he was often too busy trying to get the crazy girl off Serenity. But now, now that she was crew….Jayne could see how somebody could call River a beauty. A little sleeping beauty fast asleep in _his_ bed.

Jayne glanced up and over to his hatch. It really was quiet up there. They really had all gone off and left him to deal with River, hadn't they? Sons of bitches, the lot of them.

He glanced back to River, all curled up and peacefully sleeping. Well, he was not about to let her steal his bed for the night. Jayne reached down and picked the sleeping teen up. River muttered something that sounded like 'two, blue.' and snuggled against his chest. Jayne tried his best to ignore her. He moved over to the chair and put her down. River never even opened her eyes. Satisfied, Jayne went back to his bed and turned to face the wall.

Hours passed, or maybe it was just minutes, but soon Jayne found himself feeling a person next to him. The person felt tiny and fragile, he could feel soft hair on his chest. Wuh de ma…River was sleeping with him! He nervously opened one eye and then the other…yup, River was all snuggled up against his side.

"Hey…River," Jayne whispered, not wanting to scare her. The last thing he needed was for River to scream and alert everyone that they were in bed together. "wake up. You're in the wrong bed, crazy girl."

"No." Came the quite reply. "Sleep, now. Weapon's need rest, too."

Jayne took a deep breath and pushed River off the bed. She gracefully rolled on the floor with a small thud. He sat up to find her glaring up at him, murder in her wild eyes.

"What? Enough playin', git yerself back ta yer brother!" Jayne rolled out of the bed and reached a hand down, to help River off of the floor. River ignored him and stood on her own. "Now, don' be l'ke that. I don' really mind ya hangin' 'round, long as you go ta yer bed at night. And stop readin' my mind."

River seemed to brighten at that. She took Jayne's offered hand and didn't let go of it once she was on her own two feet. "Friends?" She asked him with a sweet and innocent smile. Jayne just looked away from her. "Jayne?" River whispered the name softly, like she was praying. He looked at her and that was when he noticed just how close they actually were. "Kiss the scars away?" Her eyes had drifted to the scar on his chest, the one he had gotten from River.

"Yes." Jayne blinked. Had he really just said that? He had. River stood on the tips of her toes and gently gave the scar a butterfly kiss.

"Kiss the scars away." River stared up at him. Jayne wordlessly kissed River's forehead.

He really wasn't in control anymore. It was River, she was putting him under some kind of spell. He watched her as she walked around him and felt as she began kissing the scars on his back. Her butterfly kisses were soft and chaste, she wasn't trying to seduce him at all. Jayne really wasn't sure how he felt about that.

River moved back around to stand in front of him. "Kiss the scars away?" She leaned up and kissed Jayne on the side of the mouth. "Completely?"

Jayne Cobb closed his eyes and softly kissed River Tam on the lips. She tasted like something he had never tasted before; she tasted fresh. His hands moved to her waist and then up, finding purpose on her back. River's small hands find their way to Jayne's sides, gently touching him.

"Jayne!" That was Mal.

Jayne jumped away from River and the two of them looked up as the hatch opened and Mal came climbing down the stairs. "Little River's gone missing again. Doc thought he put her in her bunk, but she's gone again and," Mal trailed off when he saw that River was standing next to Jayne. "and here she is." The captain gave his mercenary a pointed look. "All comfortable."

"Mal, I didn'….she came down here herself." Jayne could feel the panic start to rise in him. He didn't want to get shot just because the girl had given him another bad habit; the bad habit of desperately wanting to kiss River Tam on the mouth.

"Found me!" River cheerfully told Mal. She moved away from Jayne and over to Mal. "You found me, Cap'n! It only took you two hours and thirteen minutes."

"Yeah, I'm real proud." Mal gave River a little smile. "Now, little albatross, where'd you hide the thing for the lock system? Kaylee's lookin' ta fix it before she and your brother…you know." Mal moved uncomfortably, not really knowing how to tell River that Kaylee and Simon wanted to make sure Kaylee's bunk was locked when they had sex later that night. Of course, Mal was sure that River knew what her brother and friend did together, probably felt it. Mal made a face, poor River. "Uh, so…you just get the thingy and we'll leave Jayne."

River breezed past Mal and over to where Jayne had put the piece of the lock system. She walked back over to Mal, and ignoring the look the captain was giving Jayne, River held the piece of machinery up proudly. "See. It's not righteous, you know."

Mal offered River another smile, the one he gave her whenever he had no idea what she was talking about. "Right. Well, still need it. Don't want to walk in on things."

River just rolled her eyes. Sometimes Mal just didn't understand, she couldn't really fault him for not being as intelligent as she was. Meanwhile, Jayne was just staring at Mal, as if he was waiting for Mal to yell and throw him off the boat.

"Let's get you back upstairs, River. Best leave Jayne to his business." Mal gave Jayne a pointed look.

River nodded and headed back to the ladder. She started to go up, but then stopped. "Jayne?" He looked over at her, feeling guilty that he could still feel her lips on his. "You really should name your guitar after a girl you _really _like." And with that, River went up the ladder and disappeared.

Jayne and Mal were left alone and Mal was giving Jayne a look. The kind of look that made Jayne wonder if he could grab Vera before Mal shot him.

"Jayne." The big man looked at Mal. "You should of told us she was down here with you. Simon thought she was asleep and then we found her gone. It scared the doc." Mal told Jayne seriously and not unkindly.

"Yeah, sorry. She jus' sat an' I didn'…she jus' sat." Jayne explained lamely.

"Right. 'Course you know if you try anything and the little girl agrees, ain't nobody on the boat won't need some series counseling." Mal gave Jayne another pointed look. "She's seventeen, Jayne. Eighteen in a few months time, but still River's a little kid. You're a grown man."

"Mal…"

"You do anything and I mean **anything **with her and you best have honorable intensions. Girl like River don't need to be just another piece of trim for you, dong ma?" Mal was in Jayne's face now. "We're all very fond of River and we don't need her cryin' over you."

Jayne nodded slowly and didn't look Mal in the eyes. "Yes, yeah."

"Good." Mal nodded to himself. "We'll be on Paquin in two days; I'm giving you a night off. You should visit that whore there…uh, whatever her name is."

"Eva." Jayne supplied.

Mal didn't look like he cared. "Right, Eva. Pretty name. You go see her." The last was given as an order. With that, Mal went back to the ladder and climbed up.

A second later, Jayne heard his hatch close with a small slam. Standing there, Jayne wondered what the hell had just happened. He put a large hand up to his lips and smiled to himself; he could still taste River. With a small and happy sigh, Jayne went to his bed and picked up his guitar.

"Come on, R.T., let's play us a song." He told the old guitar. With a movement that could have be describe as nearly graceful, Jayne began strumming his guitar.

-Fin-

Translations:

Tah mah duh hwoon dahn. -**"Mother humping son of a b."**

Wuh de ma.-**"Mother of god."**

yu bun duh-**"stupid"**

Dong ma- **"understand"**


End file.
